preparing myself

i spend a whole day
twenty four hours of my life
preparing myself
in advance, i take steps
tear up all of your letters
[so many of those]
and your photos
[lots of those]
and i wait
for the big moment

you arrive
and i tell you
straight!
[that's cute - for me]
silence falls
so loud it's deafening
we know it's all over for us
then a word - here and there
and a tear or few

we talk
we hold hands
you're wet from crying
i'm wet from my heart melting
and you know
and i know
that i wasted a whole day
twenty four hours of my life
preparing myself
to leave you